REAL WOMEN REAL LOVE: HOOKS AND ANGLES FOR MIND MAKEOVER BY AMY WATERMAN 15 hooks, 45 opening lines. From https://aff.realwomenreallove.com/hooks/ How to use a hook: pick the reader you are writing for, open your email, post, video or ad with one of the lines, then carry on with the swipe it pairs with. Add your hoplink (make it at https://aff.realwomenreallove.com/links/) and your disclosure, for example "I earn a commission if you buy through my link, at no extra cost to you." Keep it honest: never promise a man, a relationship or a date by a certain time, never call the book therapy, and quote Amy and her readers word for word. ======================================================================== HOOK 1: THE DEPARTMENT STORE (Problem) ======================================================================== Who it suits: Women who are worn out by dating apps: plenty of matches, very few real dates. Good for: Online-dating bloggers, TikTok and Reels creators, women's lifestyle newsletters. Opening lines: 1. Dating apps can feel like walking into a huge department store and finding nothing you actually want to buy. 2. Just because there are men out there doesn't mean there are men you like, and that is not a failing on your part. 3. If your phone is full of matches and your weekends are still empty, the problem may not be the app. The belief it shifts: From: "If I swipe more, I'll find him sooner." To: "More options are not better options. Knowing what I want and what I'm worth is the part that changes things." Pair it with: - Email: Cold-list introduction, email 1 (https://aff.realwomenreallove.com/emails/#cold) - TikTok script 2: The department store (https://aff.realwomenreallove.com/social/#tiktok) - Pin 3: Where are all the good guys? (https://aff.realwomenreallove.com/social/#pinterest) - Newsletter blurb: The department store (https://aff.realwomenreallove.com/newsletter/#blurbs) ======================================================================== HOOK 2: IT'S NOT ALL ON YOU (Myth-buster) ======================================================================== Who it suits: Women who feel dating has turned into a second job, and one they are somehow failing at. Good for: Women's lifestyle blogs, Facebook groups for single women, podcasters who enjoy a strong opinion. Opening lines: 1. Most dating advice puts all the work on you, as if he doesn't have to lift a finger. 2. After years of writing about dating, Amy Waterman has a one-word verdict on all the "how to bag a guy" advice: poppycock. 3. Our great-grandmothers never read a dating book, and people still managed to fall in love. So who decided it had to be this hard? The belief it shifts: From: "I have to do everything right so that he picks me." To: "Love is a two-way thing. I don't have to put myself on display and hope. I get to choose too." Pair it with: - Facebook post 2: You don't need more dating advice (https://aff.realwomenreallove.com/social/#facebook) - TikTok script 3: Our ancestors didn't need dating experts (https://aff.realwomenreallove.com/social/#tiktok) - Email: 5-day promotion, email 2 (why she wrote it) (https://aff.realwomenreallove.com/emails/#promo) - Article: Why Dating Shouldn't Be "Hard Work" (https://aff.realwomenreallove.com/articles/) ======================================================================== HOOK 3: IT'S NOT YOUR LOOKS (Self-worth) ======================================================================== Who it suits: Women who blame their looks, their weight, their age or their past every time a date goes nowhere. Good for: Self-love and body-confidence creators, Instagram quote accounts, Pinterest pinners. Opening lines: 1. "It's not your looks. It's not what happened to you in the past. It's how you feel about yourself, who you are, and what you deserve." That line from Amy Waterman is worth reading twice. 2. If you've ever decided the problem was your weight, your age or your face, read this before you decide it again. 3. You don't need anyone else telling you you're not pretty enough. You've heard plenty of that already. The belief it shifts: From: "Men don't stay because of how I look, how old I am or what happened before." To: "How I feel about myself shapes what happens with men far more than my looks do." Pair it with: - Email: Warm-list recommendation, email 2 (Sarah's excuse) (https://aff.realwomenreallove.com/emails/#warm) - Facebook post 1: The line that changed how I think (https://aff.realwomenreallove.com/social/#facebook) - Instagram caption 1: Quote card (https://aff.realwomenreallove.com/social/#instagram) - Pin 1: It's not your looks (https://aff.realwomenreallove.com/social/#pinterest) - Stories sequence 1 (https://aff.realwomenreallove.com/social/#stories) Careful: Sarah Donaldson's story fits this hook well. Quote her word for word, as the email swipe does, and don't add to it or suggest her result is typical. ======================================================================== HOOK 4: HOW TO BE, NOT WHAT TO DO (Method) ======================================================================== Who it suits: Women who have read the dating books, know all the rules, and are still single. Good for: Book bloggers and BookTok, self-help newsletters, coaches who are tired of tactics. Opening lines: 1. Every dating book tells you what to say, what to wear and when to text. This one asks how you want to be. 2. If knowing the rules were enough, most of us would be happily settled by now. 3. Better opening lines won't help much if you walk into the room already expecting to be turned down. The belief it shifts: From: "I need better tactics: the right message, the right outfit, the right moment." To: "Who I am inside, and how I carry it, matters more than any script." Pair it with: - Email: Cold-list introduction, email 2 (how to be) (https://aff.realwomenreallove.com/emails/#cold) - Instagram reel 1: Every dating book and still single (https://aff.realwomenreallove.com/social/#instagram) - Presell: the bridge page, "You don't need more dating advice" (https://aff.realwomenreallove.com/landing/) - Newsletter text ad: How to be (https://aff.realwomenreallove.com/newsletter/#ads) ======================================================================== HOOK 5: A DATE IS NOT A JOB INTERVIEW (Problem) ======================================================================== Who it suits: Women who get nervous before dates, over-prepare for them, and come home exhausted. Good for: Confidence coaches, career women's newsletters, Instagram and Threads writers. Opening lines: 1. If you prepare for a first date the way you'd prepare for a job interview, no wonder you come home worn out. 2. A lot of dating advice makes it sound as if one slip means you're laughed out the door. Nothing could be further from the truth. 3. What if you walked into your next date to find out whether you like him, instead of trying to pass his test? The belief it shifts: From: "One wrong word and it's over, so I have to be perfect." To: "I'm allowed to be human on a date. The right man won't be keeping score." Pair it with: - Instagram carousel: Why dating advice keeps making you feel worse (https://aff.realwomenreallove.com/social/#instagram) - Instagram reel 2: Mind makeover, not a new profile picture (https://aff.realwomenreallove.com/social/#instagram) - X thread: 5 things I stopped believing about dating (https://aff.realwomenreallove.com/social/#x) - Newsletter blurb: Not your job alone (https://aff.realwomenreallove.com/newsletter/#blurbs) Careful: Talk about first-date nerves, not anxiety as a condition. Don't say the book treats anxiety. ======================================================================== HOOK 6: STARTING AGAIN AFTER A LONG GAP (Identity) ======================================================================== Who it suits: Women in their 40s and 50s dating again after a divorce or a long relationship, often for the first time since the apps arrived. Good for: Divorce-recovery blogs, midlife women's communities, Facebook groups for women over 40. Opening lines: 1. Kim was 45, recently divorced, and dating for the first time in 17 years when she wrote to Amy Waterman. 2. If the last time you dated nobody had a smartphone, you're not behind. You're starting again, and that takes nerve. 3. Your confidence didn't leave with the marriage. It may just need reminding where it lives. The belief it shifts: From: "I've been out of this too long. I've forgotten how, and it's too late to learn." To: "Starting again is allowed at any age, and the confidence I need is still mine." Pair it with: - Email: Warm-list recommendation, email 3 (dating again after a long gap) (https://aff.realwomenreallove.com/emails/#warm) - Newsletter: Starting again after divorce (blurb), Back to dating (text ad) (https://aff.realwomenreallove.com/newsletter/#blurbs) - Keywords: the problem-aware list ("dating again after divorce") (https://aff.realwomenreallove.com/keywords/#kw-lists) Careful: Kim Collier's story is on the sales page. Use her facts and words exactly as she wrote them, and don't suggest her result is typical. ======================================================================== HOOK 7: LOVE IS NOT A VIDEO GAME (Problem) ======================================================================== Who it suits: Women worn out by "let's just hang out" and by men who never quite make a plan. Good for: Dating podcasters, X and Threads writers, Facebook pages with a sense of humour. Opening lines: 1. "Let's just hang out and see where it leads." If that sentence has cost you a few too many evenings, keep reading. 2. Love is not a video game. When it goes wrong, you don't get to press a button and start over. 3. Hoping for an actual dinner in an actual restaurant should not feel like asking for too much. The belief it shifts: From: "I should give every maybe a chance, or I might miss him." To: "My time and my heart are worth protecting, and I can learn to tell the browsers from the men who mean it." Pair it with: - Email: Re-engagement, email 2 (Love is not a video game) (https://aff.realwomenreallove.com/emails/#reengage) - Facebook ad idea 2: Spot the flakes early (https://aff.realwomenreallove.com/keywords/#kw-meta) - Newsletter blurb: Weeding out the players (https://aff.realwomenreallove.com/newsletter/#blurbs) ======================================================================== HOOK 8: IS HE THE ONE, OR A HEARTBREAKER? (Curiosity) ======================================================================== Who it suits: Women who keep falling for the same kind of man and wonder why it always ends the same way. Good for: Relationship advice blogs, YouTube talkers, Pinterest boards about dating red flags. Opening lines: 1. Sometimes your own feelings can convince you a man is The One when he's really just a heartbreaker. 2. If the flakes, the players and the charming bad boys always seem to find you, the pattern is worth a closer look. 3. Strong feelings are worth listening to. They are not always worth obeying. The belief it shifts: From: "If it feels this strong, it must be right." To: "I can listen to my heart wisely, and walk away when the signs say no." Pair it with: - Instagram caption 2: Dating advice I'm done with (https://aff.realwomenreallove.com/social/#instagram) - Instagram reel 2 (sign 3: the same kind of guy) (https://aff.realwomenreallove.com/social/#instagram) - Keywords: the problem-aware list ("how to know if he is the one") (https://aff.realwomenreallove.com/keywords/#kw-lists) ======================================================================== HOOK 9: CARRIE BRADSHAW OR MURPHY BROWN? (Author story) ======================================================================== Who it suits: Women who are wary of dating gurus and like their advice with a dry sense of humour. Good for: Email lists with a personal voice, book reviewers, women's humour and lifestyle pages. Opening lines: 1. Amy Waterman started out wanting to be Carrie Bradshaw. After more than ten years of writing about dating, she says she turned into Murphy Brown. 2. Dating advice from a woman with a sharper tongue than most, who still believes in love. 3. She has written or co-written ten books about dating, and she still has no patience for advice that makes women feel inadequate. The belief it shifts: From: "Dating authors are smug marrieds selling magic bullets." To: "This is a straight-talking writer who is on my side." Pair it with: - Email: Cold-list introduction, email 3 (who Amy Waterman is) (https://aff.realwomenreallove.com/emails/#cold) - Newsletter: Amy's honesty (blurb), The Carrie Bradshaw line (P.S. email) (https://aff.realwomenreallove.com/newsletter/#blurbs) - Book Review: ask for a review chapter (https://aff.realwomenreallove.com/review/) ======================================================================== HOOK 10: QUIET THE CRITICAL VOICE (Self-worth) ======================================================================== Who it suits: Women who replay every awkward moment and are harder on themselves than they would ever be on a friend. Good for: Self-care and self-kindness creators, journaling communities, women's wellbeing newsletters. Opening lines: 1. Beating yourself up after a bad date has never once made the next date better. 2. You can feel good about yourself even if you don't like your looks or the way your life is going right now. 3. Worrying won't help you meet someone. It's a hard habit to give up, but it is a habit, and habits can change. The belief it shifts: From: "I have to be hard on myself, or I'll never get better at this." To: "Being kinder to myself is what lets me show up as myself." Pair it with: - Newsletter: That critical voice (blurb), The inner critic (text ad) (https://aff.realwomenreallove.com/newsletter/#blurbs) - Facebook post 3: Where are all the good guys? (https://aff.realwomenreallove.com/social/#facebook) - Articles & Reviews (https://aff.realwomenreallove.com/articles/) Careful: Keep this about everyday self-talk and confidence. Don't say the book treats anxiety, depression or trauma. ======================================================================== HOOK 11: BEFORE YOU GIVE UP ON DATING (Problem) ======================================================================== Who it suits: Women who are tired, fed up and close to deleting every app for good. Good for: Women's blogs with search traffic, Pinterest, Facebook groups. Opening lines: 1. If you're tired, fed up or just plain frustrated with dating, read this before you give up on love. 2. Dating burnout is real, and another app or another rule book is not going to fix it. 3. Taking a break from dating is healthy. Giving up on love because of bad advice is something else. The belief it shifts: From: "I've tried everything. Love just isn't going to happen for me." To: "I haven't tried working on the inside yet, and that part is in my hands." Pair it with: - Presell: the article page, "Single for a while and tired of trying?" (https://aff.realwomenreallove.com/landing/) - Article: Don't Give Up on Dating Without Trying This First (https://aff.realwomenreallove.com/articles/) - Newsletter text ad: Tired of the apps (https://aff.realwomenreallove.com/newsletter/#ads) - Keywords: the problem-aware list ("dating burnout") (https://aff.realwomenreallove.com/keywords/#kw-lists) ======================================================================== HOOK 12: ARE YOU READY TO MEET HIM? (Desire) ======================================================================== Who it suits: Women who want a warm, lasting relationship and are starting to feel hopeful about it again. Good for: Romance and relationship blogs, Instagram creators, warm email lists. Opening lines: 1. Most of us spend our energy wondering where he is. Fewer of us ask whether we're ready to meet him. 2. Picture a cuddle on the sofa after a hard day, and his support when you're upset. Now ask what you'd need to feel ready for that. 3. Getting ready for love is the one part of dating that is completely up to you. The belief it shifts: From: "The hard part is finding him." To: "The part I can work on is me: feeling ready, worthy and open if and when someone good comes along." Pair it with: - Email: 5-day promotion, email 1 (are you ready to meet him?) (https://aff.realwomenreallove.com/emails/#promo) - Newsletter text ad: Are you ready? (https://aff.realwomenreallove.com/newsletter/#ads) - YouTube description block (https://aff.realwomenreallove.com/social/#youtube) Careful: Keep it a question. Never promise that he is out there waiting or that the reader will meet someone. ======================================================================== HOOK 13: SIX BOOKS, $37, EIGHT WEEKS TO DECIDE (Low risk) ======================================================================== Who it suits: Careful buyers who have spent money on dating advice before and felt let down. Good for: Review sites, deal-minded email lists, anyone writing a "is it worth it?" post. Opening lines: 1. Another dating book? Fair question. This one comes with an 8-week money-back guarantee. 2. For $37 you get Mind Makeover plus five bonus mini-books on affirmations, happy relationships, moving in together, love quotes and readers' questions. 3. Read it, try what Amy suggests, and if it isn't what you wanted or expected, you have 8 weeks to ask for a full refund. The belief it shifts: From: "I've wasted money on advice that didn't help, and I'm not doing that again." To: "I can try this properly and decide for myself, without the risk." Pair it with: - Emails: 5-day promotion, emails 3 and 4 (inside the book, the guarantee) (https://aff.realwomenreallove.com/emails/#promo) - Newsletter: Five bonus mini-books (blurb), Guarantee (text ad), No-risk reminder (P.S. email) (https://aff.realwomenreallove.com/newsletter/#blurbs) - Instagram caption 3: What's inside (https://aff.realwomenreallove.com/social/#instagram) - Facebook ad idea 3: Low risk (https://aff.realwomenreallove.com/keywords/#kw-meta) Careful: Describe the guarantee the way the sales page does: 8 weeks, full refund. No invented deadline, and no "the price is going up". ======================================================================== HOOK 14: AFFIRMATIONS FOR LOVE (Bonus) ======================================================================== Who it suits: Women who already use affirmations, journaling or vision boards and would like them to cover their love life too. Good for: Affirmation and manifestation accounts, Pinterest pinners, journaling and self-care creators. Opening lines: 1. Fourteen illustrated affirmations for love, plus a short guide to writing your own. 2. The words you repeat to yourself every morning are the ones you carry into every date. 3. If you already write affirmations for your work and your health, why not write one for your love life? The belief it shifts: From: "Affirmations are nice, but they won't change anything in my love life." To: "What I tell myself every day shapes how I feel when I walk into a room." Pair it with: - Pin 4: 14 Affirmations for Love (https://aff.realwomenreallove.com/social/#pinterest) - Stories sequence 2: Unboxing an e-book (https://aff.realwomenreallove.com/social/#stories) - Product Images: the Guide to Affirmations cover (https://aff.realwomenreallove.com/images/) Careful: The affirmations are in the bonus Guide to Affirmations. Name the main book, Mind Makeover, in the same post so readers know what they are buying. ======================================================================== HOOK 15: VALENTINE'S DAY, NEW YEAR AND THE HOLIDAYS (Seasonal) ======================================================================== Who it suits: Single women at the times of year when being on your own feels loudest. Good for: Anyone with a content calendar: email lists, Instagram, Facebook pages. Opening lines: 1. This Valentine's Day, start with the relationship that matters first: the one you have with yourself. 2. Skip the dating resolution this year. Make one decision about how you want to feel instead. 3. If the holidays feel a bit lonely this year, be as kind to yourself as you would be to a friend. The belief it shifts: From: "This time of year just reminds me that I'm on my own." To: "This is a good moment to put myself first and get ready for love on my own terms." Pair it with: - Emails: Seasonal one-offs (Valentine's, New Year, spring, holidays) (https://aff.realwomenreallove.com/emails/#seasonal) - Facebook ad idea 5: Valentine's Day (https://aff.realwomenreallove.com/keywords/#kw-meta) Careful: A season is a reason to post now, not a deadline. Never invent a sale or a closing date.